(Traslated from the original spanish version of 25 july)
As I wrote a few days ago, many years ago I decided to try to follow a spiritual path, but in my early days I could not get anything and therefore constantly started and abandoned.
- One day I thought I could not follow any spiritual path, for my many defects, then I made a list of those so many, because...
- I easily get angry when things got tough ...
- I had learned to be competitive and I focused more on beating others on the way, than really look for beating myself.
- I Appreciated too my belongings even think to let go of the need for them.
- I could not see all those around me as brothers of my way, because always to soon I had my finger pointing to errors or other defects.
- I could not reach out selflessly...
- I could not forgive those who had hurt me ...
- I could not even think without thinking 10 seconds on an unstoppable carousel of ideas and memories ...
- Also because I was not able to do my spiritual task every day, then I had to force myself to do so, was it my way?
- Also, I would never will be pure enough to conduct this way ...
- That long list could go on writing ... however, in spite of everything written ... Returned exactly why, why I insisted on following a spiritual path ?
However, there was something true... that I did not try to give a sanctified image of myself to others ... never in my life I care very much on what people thought about me ... And then, if so flawed why then had attracted me so much to try, even for wrong ways? ...
Was I afraid of me? ... I did not care to think of me, but if I judged myself very hard. And so the relentless inner judge criticized me for my flaws and prevented me from moving forward... there wasn't fault of others...
And then when my appeal to that court was ... but well, I look because it makes me feel better ... because when I try it gives me peace and sometimes in that silence I can understand mistakes and correct, not always on time but at least correct my path each day.
We are human and therefore we make mistakes, mistakes always teach, of course sometimes with pain, but at least you learn, and if not then the error is repeated until learned ...
And well over many years and many mistakes and setbacks, I can not say how much I progressed in my spiritual path, but yes, I can remember my personal past, I can tell to the terrible judge that there is in my mind and I can show, that I'm better, and that by constant work, perhaps not every day in all these years, but at least many days on...
Even today I struggle with myself for getting better, and this must be in my opinion my first and great spiritual attainment, be better, and as much as enough to make a simple comparison with myself that 10 years ago or however long it is and see me sincerely ... more ... yes! , Thank God ... better!.
And so when I realized this truth, I stopped worrying about goals that others once talked to me and seemed so unattainable that ... were precisely those which held the terrible judge on who I was so scared ...
When my goal became to be better than myself, then, from there my spiritual path became less arid, began to be a really way up, free of judges, free of comparisons, free of unreachable goals.
Paradoxically, when the road is humble, and also continuous over time, without being harassed by one day fail, then other goals as well be overcome without complexes, without needs.
Dear readers I hope this words helps especially for not to think that nobody is denied to follow a spiritual path and that the best reward you surelly achieve is to feel in peace with yourself.
A hug for everyone, Paul Barbé
From the original spanish article of 21 july
A few years ago, I was in fought with the world, convinced that in need of my succeed I should beat others ... but I started to realize that every achievement had little flavor, something was wrong because there was always a bitter taste of resentment and a constant annoyance that I could't find for me, reason. Until the day came to realize that I was sick...
I lost my tenderness ... The anxiety squeezed my throat so that I could not see my way. Everything that was wrong in my conflict with the world had an odd reflection in my body, as if I was sick of my bones and joints and could not walk next to my brothers, and I could not give a fraternal embrace because I become hardened. I Was getting really bad in my view, therefore, could not see beyond the negative things about my neighbor. When I thought I was going deaf what happened was I had stopped listening to those who were by my side every day.
In order to heal, I should learn to look up me in the mirror, and after that the decision to take daily treatment ... thanks to awake in my home, during the work day, every hour to remind patience, humility, friendship, integrity and responsibility. And before going to bed, be consistent in making a series of spiritual exercises. In no time I thought it would be easy, but surely that medicine would heal me.
I lost many times and many things in my life. But it took me many years to realize what was really to lost; to allow me to understand what was really to win.
I understood that if I suffered or lost much ... at the same time I have learned, when I clung in resentment and at the end to let go of, I realized the enormous value of forgiveness is freedom; when I cried a lot... cleanse my soul and then to remove the veil I saw the light of the way out, the times I felt alone, I ended up accepting it had closed my door to others, and sometimes I thought I had lost everything, and it was not a single time ... then when time pased, showed me that was the end of an era and the beginning of a new period of growth to my top step.
Finally I made an extraordinary discovery, I'm not alone, many people around me waiting for my smile and to be able to approach me, and waiting for my helping hand ...
So many times I felt tired and lying in my bed looking for a shelter in my own pity, then my tears showed me that it is always possible and necessary to restart. Restart is given a new opportunity is renewed hope in life and most importantly, believe in myself.
If a young person decides to do nothing for an entire year seems so outrageous waste of time and youth, but if you are over 60 and decide the same, is it not also a regrettable loss? Any person gets older. That does not take talent or ability.
We're not tired for being older, we are tired for fighting with ourselves ... We do not stop loving because we are old, we grow old because we stop loving.
Because it is always possible to fight for what we love, and because there is always time to start over.
Every day you have to find the healthy humor and laughter. It is imperative to have a dream. When dreams are lost, one begins to die. There are so many people walking around who are dead and not know that!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing. To keep growing need to get rid of old rags, ties, seek teachings without tripping, do not get distracted looking at the side of the road keep an eye on your progress. The idea is to grow always finding the opportunity to change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually do not regret what we did, but of those things that did not do. Understand that it is never too late to be all that we can probably be.
I propose a challenge: to study poetry, read daily many reflections that abound on the Internet, read writings of poets, but also not shy to write lines for yourself, after a while when you check your writings you will see your own spiritual progress.
Recommence
Perhaps now is an excellent time to start a new life project. Where you getting at? Look high, dream high, longs to the best of the best, long for all good, because life brings us what we want if we fight for it.
Is it not a good time for a mental cleansing?. Throw everything that chained you to past and hurts. Also let you go of material achievements because most likely the day that you get achievements no longer enjoy you. Clean your heart, make ready for a new life, purpose to love more those around you, without trying to change them, but by learning to accept them. Get away from your life everything that makes you feel bad and take great care not to hurt others. Your own happiness depends on what you can achieve in harmony with the world and conquer your peace, inner harmony and love for all, because we are the manifestation of love.
If you realize you need a change, do not get distracted now with walks..., accepts walk the path of the new adventure that you sense yourself, a major challenge, a new journey that will take to your inside. Aim for this day, to yourself that you will do everything you can to achieve your goals. I trust life, trust in you.
"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not, it is because we not dare that they are difficult" Seneca
A hug to all my followers, Paul Barbe
